League of Extraidiotic Gentlemonkeys
by Serb
Summary: A parody of LXG is here! Random madness, robots, mystery,everything you wanted to see there! Chapter 3, M's evil plans! Read and review!
1. Robots in Africa

THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAIDIOTIC GENTLEMONKEYS  
  
Author's Note: Serby's back, with a parody. Recently, I have seen the LXG movie, and was fascinated by it. I was implied that I must make a parody out of this one. None of the characters are mine. The idea of the League itself, I found out belong to America's Best Comics and Alan Moore, the characters themselves could be trace back to R.L. Stevenson, H.G. Wells, Bram Stoker and so on into the writers I don't even know. This has been done with some co-opertaion with my friend Kitty (who's not a member of Fanfiction.net). I don't want to make fun of Sean Connery because of his accent in the movie, but I must include it. Thank you for listening (damn, I sound boring!).  
  
///////////////////  
  
Dudn, dun Duuunnn!!!! The 20th Century Fox productions glow proudly in the night. Suddenly, electricity runs out and there now stand a torn, worn down sign making you wondering what the heck it is doing in 1889, in the middle of London ghettos.  
  
Some bobbies are running down the street so fast, one of them slips and falls face down in the muddy puddle beneath them. What caused them to be shaken so? (Before this there was an introduction that I never bother to remember, and the simplest title you could ever imagine on TV screens, writing 'League of Extraordinary Gentlemen')  
  
A bloody WWII tank is rolling lazily down the cobbled path, not caring what on earth it comes up on. The policemen stare dumbly like calves at something very peculiar (like a TV screen), and wonder what on earth is this.  
  
One bobby idiotically runs in the middle of the street, waving the beating up handle.  
  
'Stop in the name of the law!' he yells.  
  
Heh, tough luck. The tank just rolls over him, and underneath the 'tyres' can be heard the hissing of a deflated rubber policeman (did you really think they would let a real policeman get run over in a movie?).  
  
The tank runs through the Bank of London's pillars, creating a whole lot of noise. It's a wonder how a huge tank like this, ramming into Bank of London, creating so much noise in the middle of the street, didn't draw any curiosity, or even wake up the residents who lived nearby!  
  
The tank rips through the bookshelves, runs through walls, more pillars, safes, and finally stop in front of the thing they were looking for. The door of the tank opens, weird green smoke rises, and out comes..Barney and Pikachu!  
  
Pikachu electrifies the policeman, while Barney had something worse.  
  
'I love you, you love me, we are one happy family..' Screams the singing fat purple lizard.  
  
'AAAAHHHH!!!' Scream the bobbies, running away from the horror that stalks the future generations of children.  
  
When there was a clear scene, some unimportant person steps out, calling himself 'The Phantom' and dresses up as some Star Wars freak fan.  
  
'Hahaha! I speak German!' Laughs the Phantom, and starts speaking in Zulu (it's still similar to German, or so he thinks).  
  
'I love you Barney!' he says in 'German' . Translation in the movie: ' Get the treasure!'  
  
*********  
  
(Somewhere in Germany...)  
  
'Hmmm..very good, very good!' Says the Phantom.  
  
'Let us go!' Yells the scientist in proper German.  
  
'No...but I think I will have fun first! Let me see what happens when I blow out these gray balloons! ' Squealed the Phantom.  
  
'You fool! They are filled with helium!' Screams the scientist.  
  
The Phantom, nevertheless, blows up the Zeppelin, and they explode. Helium floats through the air.  
  
'You idiot!' Says the scientist, in a very odd squeaky voice,' Now I'm going to talk like Mickey Mouse for a week!'  
  
(Helium really does this when you breathe it in. It gives you a squeaky voice.)  
  
**********  
  
(Somewhere in a 'terra incognito' which they call Africa)  
  
There is a huge mansion in the middle of nowhere, and there are a lot of black people (colonial times). A black undertaker's carriage comes into the scene. A British chap wearing a black suit gets out, and steps in a pile of bull.. dung.  
  
He looks disgustedly at the poo-covered shoe and goes on with his way.  
  
The dear British chap (why can't anyone remember his name?) walks into the house when he's eyes meet a shocking scene. The mansion is filled with robots that all look exactly like Allen Quartermain, and are retardly walking around the room, bumping into walls, tripping over each other and smiling idiotically. At the head of the room, there is the real Allen Quatermain, holding a huge remote control (including antennae) and fiddling with the joystick.  
  
'Blashted thing!' He mumbles,' How am I shupposed to control all these things?'  
  
One of the robots turns to the newcomer.  
  
'Alert! Intruder!' They all say mechanically.  
  
'Bring him here!' Growls Allen.  
  
'Setting off emergency defence self-exploding system! Three, two, one..' The robots say.  
  
Suddenly they all explode, blow the mansion up, and send the two humans flying into the air.  
  
The British chap lands roughly in a thorn bush, while Quartermain lands next to him in the pile of bull dung the British man stepped in recently.  
  
'I could never program them to shtop shending the emergency shystem,' says Quartermain sadly.  
  
'Mr. Quartermain, the British Empie needs you!' the man pants, jumping out of the thorn bush.  
  
'They don't need me any more. God shave the Queen!' Cheers the hunter.  
  
Some evil guys in suits come up to one of the robots, which was still alive.  
  
'Are you Allen Quartermain?' asks one evil guy.  
  
'Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way....' Responds the broken robot.  
  
'Aw, shut up!' The evil guy rolls his eyes and pulls the trigger.  
  
Big mistake. The robot blows up, and kills the evil guys.  
  
'Cool! I didn't know it could do thsat!' Cries Allen,' I'm joining in!'  
  
*********  
  
(Somewhere in England...)  
  
Allen and the chap are walking down the stairs for two hours, and there are clocks on almost every wall (the British really like watches, just like little Swiss!).  
  
They finally arrive in a big room. It is partially dark.  
  
'Muahaha! Guess who I am?' says a voice.  
  
Quartermain looks around the paintings and doesn't even notice the guy.  
  
'Hey! I'm talking to you!' Says the voice.  
  
Quartermain still looks at a painting and wonders if he could eat it.  
  
'Alright, fine!' Yells the irritated man. He turns on the lights and you can see that he would have been more handsome if only he never wore that stupid ginger moustache,' My name's M, and you are in the headquarters of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.'  
  
Quartermain looks at the documents and then says,' You're from Moulin Rouge! What are you doing here?'  
  
'Erm...none of you business!' he twitches in anger.  
  
Captian Nemo steps into the scene.  
  
'What ish wrong with thish bush you call a beard?' Asks Quartermain incredulously.  
  
'English hyenas!' Sniffs Nemo.  
  
The doors burst open and in walks a particularly stone faced woman, with an expression that she ran into a brick wall.  
  
'I am Harker. Mina Harker.' She says seriously.  
  
She sits down and there is a farting noise. She looks around, shooting daggers into..space.  
  
'Ha, ha! Nobody sees me! I can kick your ass and you will still first kill your teddy bear for doing this than me!' Says a cockney voice in thin air.  
  
Quartermain screams and like a monkey starts wrecking the place up. When every portrait in the room has been destroyed, a coat floats in thin air, and the person takes out some disgusting white cream and put it on his face.  
  
'Some sharp eye,' mutters the person,' My name's Rodney Skinner, Gentleman thief.'  
  
'Aha! The avenger of Shiva, Kali and Vishnu!' Yells Nemo,' Out, out, you hyena!'  
  
'He's here to help you get the Phantom.' Says M.  
  
'Fartom?' Asks Skinner.  
  
'Whatever, just get on with your trip and have a good time. I have something to do..' Says M mysteriously.  
  
The four members go out, leaving the boss alone.  
  
'Hahaha! They don't know what "M" means. M for magnificent, M for mysterious, M for magic! WEEEE!!!' Yells happily M and rushes out of the room to play tea party with his teddy bears.  
  
Author's Note: End of first chapter! What do you think? I can't remember the movie exactly, and may add something more. Please review! 


	2. Hyde and sick him!

THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAIDIOTIC GENTLEMONKEYS  
  
Author's Note: Serby's back, with a parody. Recently, I have seen the LXG movie, and was fascinated by it. I was implied that I must make a parody out of this one. None of the characters are mine. The idea of the League itself, I found out belong to America's Best Comics and Alan Moore, the characters themselves could be trace back to R.L. Stevenson, H.G. Wells, Bram Stoker and so on into the writers I don't even know. This has been done with some co-operation with my friend Kitty (who's not a member of Fanfiction.net). I don't want to make fun of Sean Connery because of his accent in the movie, but I must include it. Thank you for listening (damn, I sound boring!).  
  
'With a smile and a song' is from Disney's Snow White cartoon.  
  
///////////////////  
  
The league stepped out of the run down building, only to be met by a huge white limousine out in the street. Again, the Londoners who pass by take no notice of such a peculiar machine in the middle of the damn 1889's!  
  
'Wooo!' Yells Skinner,' What the bloody hell is this?'  
  
'It's an automobile!' Exclaims Nemo proudly.  
  
'Really? Cool...let'sh eat it!' Quartermain takes out his trusty rifle, Matilda, and is ready to shoot the 'prey'.  
  
'No, no, you stupid English hyena!' Cries Nemo,' You drive in it!'  
  
'Oh..' Down hearted Allen lowers his gun and goes in the car.  
  
But the didn't know that they are watched, by a stranger wearing a lurid pink coat!  
  
*********  
  
The car stops in front of another run down house in the dock ghettos. The league members get out, and Quartermain bangs on the door.  
  
'Dorian!' He yells,' Let ush in! It'sh creepy out here! There may be wolvesh and lionsh out here!'  
  
Mina rolls her eyes and snorts. Suddenly, the door opens revealing a handsome young man wearing..a tight, black leather suit.  
  
'Hello, I'm Dorian Gay- I mean Gray. Welcome to my humble little home,' he says tiredly.  
  
'Dorian? Is that you?' Asks Mina, not believing her eyes.  
  
'Huh? Who are you?' he grunts,' oh, you must be the tart who visited me last weekend!'  
  
'I'm Mina!' she cries.  
  
'Whatever, you may come in.' Dorian left the door open, and led them to his library.  
  
His library was filled with books and pictures of himself of course. Dorian sat down in an armchair, and took out a photo album.  
  
'Oooh, I really like to show pictures of myself to friends!' He squeals, flipping to the first page,' This is me, when I was five, and yes, I'm eating mud... this photo is when I was seventeen and won a beauty contest in Dover. The contest was intended for women, but that didn't stop me from winning the first prize! And this one is when I was in University and became the Steak and Kidney pudding contest winner...another photo with some tart...this is another picture taken in the circus when I was ten. I tripped the clowns to fall in the lion cage, you know.'  
  
Suddenly, some evil guys holding machine guns, led by the Star Wars fanatic The Fartom surround the league. The Fartom gives some crappy speech, while Quartermain notices a kid among them wearing a pink coat and winking at him (makes you wonder if he's gay). A fight ensues, Fartom escapes and the kid introduces himself as some Yankee called Tom Sawyer.  
  
'I want to join you! I have two American guns to bribe you!' Boasts Sawyer.  
  
Allen clutches Matilda harder against his chest and narrows his eyes,' You have lollipopsh?' He growls.  
  
'Yep, ten of them!' Confirms Sawyer.  
  
'Deal! You're in!' Allen shakes his hand.  
  
'Wait for me! I'm coming too!' Dorian sidles in.  
  
********  
  
'This, my friends is the Nautilus...or Naughtylust because of a strip club I have up here!' Says proudly Nemo, showing them to a huge, pretty white submarine.  
  
The league goes in, and explores the ship, while the men head over to the strip club.  
  
'Where do we go?' Asks Nemo.  
  
'To Parish! To shee an old friend there!' Proclaims Allen.  
  
***********  
  
(In 'Parish', France...)  
  
A huge monster is running away from the French policemen and is jumping like Tarzan on top of the buildings. Sawyer and Quartermain are following the beast.  
  
To their horror, the beast is wearing a pink tutu (with men's trousers underneath) and is balancing at the top of a building singing,' With a smile and a song..'  
  
'He'sh shcared!' Exclaims Quartermain.  
  
'La, la, la...with a smile and a Hyde..' Sings the carefree beast.  
  
'Stop him!' Tom stares with wide eyes.  
  
Allen takes out his gun and shoots down the monster, packing him in a net, and sending it off to the Nautilus.  
  
The monster is now locked in the boiler room and chained. The rest of the League gather around to watch the spectacular.  
  
'Mishter Hyde,' begins Quartermain seriously,' you have been exshiled out of Englandsh for goodnessh knowsh what, and we are here to offer you to join ush and then you may come back.'  
  
Hyde roars out something inconherenble saying he could smell their fear. Suddenly, as if helium is let out a balloon, he deflates, and becomes a normal man wearing trousers that may fall off. He is cute.  
  
'Dr. Jekyll, at your service!' He shakes hands with everybody.  
  
He then hobbles out of the room with his trousers coming up to his shoulders.  
  
********  
  
A few days later, after being entertained by the only stripper in the bar, the Giant Squid, the league was summoned to the main study.  
  
'Dr. Jekyll, please shit down.' Says Quartermain.  
  
'What?' gasps Jekyll.  
  
'Shit down.' Repeats Allen, apparently annoyed.  
  
'Now look here Mr. Quartermain,' Begins upset Jekyll,' this manner is very nongentleman of you and-'  
  
'Shit down! Shit down!' Yells Quartermain.  
  
When Jekyll just stands there, Mina strides over to him and makes him SIT down.  
  
'There is a traitor among us,' announces Captain Nemo gravely,' and we can find the villain only one way. We settle it by spinning the bottle!'  
  
Nemo takes out a bottle and spins it, landing towards Jekyll.  
  
'YOU!' Roars Nemo, pointing a finger at the poor doctor.  
  
'Oh come on,' the trembling Jekyll says,' you have recruited me. I couldn't do it.'  
  
'Very well,' Suspicious Quartermain reluctantly agrees,' I shall now shpin the bottle.'  
  
Quartermain spins the bottle and it lands at...Quartermain.  
  
'Uh oh..' Allen realizes the mistake.  
  
'GET HIM!' Screams Mina, as they attack the hunter.  
  
Few days pass by, Mina and Dorian are having a bit more than a kiss and a cuddle in her rooms, while Dr. Jekyll spies on them (the sweet old perv...). He is playing with his pocket watch, going tick tock, tick tock..  
  
'You want her!' Growls Hyde.  
  
'No!' Protests Jekyll.  
  
'Tick tock!' Goes the watch.  
  
'Take the potion!'  
  
'No!'  
  
'Tick tock!'  
  
'Take it!'  
  
'No!  
  
'Tick tock!'  
  
'What the hell is going on here?' Asks irritated Nemo, coming all of the sudden onto the scene.  
  
'I..er...I..er..' Stutters Jekyll.  
  
'Don't you dare take the potion, you English hyena! I can't stand to have to clean the broken bottles behind you!' Grunts Nemo.  
  
********  
  
The Nautilus arrives in Venice and breaks a few centuries old bridges, but who cares? There is supposedly a bomb here and it has to blow up a carnival there. The carnival takes place in front of the mental hospital, where the patients are celebrating the anniversary of Lala the Mad, who tried to escape, but was unfortunately caught and became normal at her downfall.  
  
'We have to shave the people!' Exclaims Quartermain.  
  
'What?' asks Jekyll.  
  
'He means save, gentlemen, save!' Mina exclaims proudly.  
  
Jekyll shrugs and sits in an armchair, eating a packet of chips, watching Nemo's first television: an empty screen.  
  
'You go without me.' He waves them off.  
  
'What good are you anyway?' Smirks Dorian.  
  
'That's what I wonder.' Says thoughtfully Skinner,' why on earth did we recruit Jerkkill in the first place?'  
  
Jerkkil- I mean Jekyll shoots an angry glare at Skinner.  
  
While rest of the league run frantically around the ship wondering what the hell will they do, Sawyer runs over a few people in the limousine. The league rush in, except Nemo, Skinner and Jekyll of course, and rush off.  
  
Sawyer begins to drive in circles around the city, and when they finally reach the fifth circle, Mina bites some necks off, Dorian jumps out, Quartermain also jumps off, then Sawyers flies through the air and still survives (that damn brat...). The bomb is blow up, so none of the patients from the hospital suffer.  
  
Quartermain runs around the grveyard, and spots M there! He is twirling his moustage in front of a mirror and playing tea party with his teddy bears, nothing new... But next to him is the Fartom's fanatic Star Wars suit!  
  
'You're the Fartom!' Screams Allen, shooting all over the place.  
  
M runs off into the distance( taking his teddy bears of course), while Quartermain gives up and returns to the ship.  
  
The league arrives back and to their horror Dorian is in a pod, which I swear by the laws of physics, shouldn't stand up straight like that in the water. Skinner is missing too.  
  
They all go to the ship, and deranged Nemo is rushing though the waters to reach Dorian. After breaking a few more bridges, they realized that they can't reach him, so went to watch the blank TV.  
  
Author's Note: OK, sorry for waiting so long. Please review! 


	3. M's evil vampire bunnies

THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAIDIOTIC GENTLEMONKEYS  
  
Author's Note: Serby's back, with a parody. Recently, I have seen the LXG movie, and was fascinated by it. I was implied that I must make a parody out of this one. None of the characters are mine. The idea of the League itself, I found out belong to America's Best Comics and Alan Moore, the characters themselves could be trace back to R.L. Stevenson, H.G. Wells, Bram Stoker and so on into the writers I don't even know. This has been done with some co-operation with my friend Kitty (who's not a member of Fanfiction.net). I don't want to make fun of Sean Connery because of his accent in the movie, but I must include it. Thank you for listening (damn, I sound boring!).  
  
PG-13 for some swear words.  
  
///////////////////  
  
The league is sitting in some room, while Nemo shows them the device on the wall. It looks like a tracking device with water currents drawn on them.  
  
'What are theesh thingsh that chashe (chase) each other?' Asks Quartermain towards the little tracking lights.  
  
'Oh, these are just two flies stuck on the wall,' Says Nemo, taking them off, leaving just a map.  
  
'So..it this the map to track them down?' Asks Jekyll.  
  
'No! This is the world's first video game. Ah, look at how the sea currents change! Isn't this fun?' Nemo exclaims happily.  
  
Suddenly, they receive a record, which they put on the gramophone. It is from M and Dorian!  
  
'Just so to let you know,' says Dorian lazily,' I'm evil. And I joined M's side.'  
  
'And you are going to suffer a very nasty death!' Squeaked in M.  
  
'Alright, get ready, for I'm going to start to swear, and the noise is going to set off the bomb in your ship. HAHA! You little pieces of- BEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!'  
  
The track began to give off some horrible squeaking noise, making the bomb explode and the Nautilus starts to sink. While the rest of the league starts screaming, panicking and running around like little children, Hyde finally has a good idea.  
  
'Look, will you just shut up and listen to me!' Growls Hyde in Jekyll's head.  
  
Jekyll finally stops screaming, and thoughtfully listens to Hyde.  
  
'We can save them! Just drink the potion!' Yells Hyde inside his head (what a horrible case of split personality).  
  
'Eh...we could just die anyway, so...' Jekyll makes a death wish and drinks the potion.  
  
He blows up again to become Hyde, and the ship is saved! How? Well, Hyde starts ripping the whole place apart, so the little pieces of the ship float to the surface, carrying the league with them.  
  
'Yay! We are saved!' Squeals Tom Sawyer (why the hell the idiot didn't drown?).  
  
'My beautiful ship! Ruined!' Sobs former Captain Nemo.  
  
On one float, there is the Morse code machine. A letter is sent to them. Allen swims to the float, and reads the message.  
  
'It'sh from Shkinner! He shays we should go to Mongolia!' Exclaims Quartermain.  
  
'Great! Give us the message!' Mina tells him.  
  
'I...er...ate it.' Allen says sheepishly.  
  
Suddenly a new message comes up. Mina this time picks it up.  
  
'Some wrong message. It says: "I have given birth to a son. I have named him Adolf. Please come home soon. Love, Klara Hitler."' Mina reads it out loud.  
  
'Some name. Who could ever be called Adolf Hitler?' Tom Sawyer ponders out loud.  
  
(Adolf Hitler was born in 1889.)  
  
**********  
  
(Somewhere in Mongolia..)  
  
When the league finally floats to Mongolia, they are in the middle of a snowy desert. They walk over the mountains, and see...a huge chocolate factory!  
  
'Let'sh shtay in the cave! The factory may be dangeroush!' Growls Quartermain.  
  
So the league says in some stupidly small cave. Quartermain stays to guard outside, making himself furniture to collect dust-I mean snow. Suddenly, something moves in the distance. It is not the Siberian tiger, but a huge chocolate vampire bunny rabbit! The dreaded monster starts hopping towards Allen, smiling evilly, showing its fangs.  
  
It wears a woollen jumper, with a motto written on it:' M's chocolate is the best, the shit is the rest.'  
  
'Aaaah!' Screams Quartermain, and shoots it, blowing the creature into a thousand pieces.  
  
Among the snow is also Skinner, who starts eating away the remains of the bunny rabbit.  
  
'Shkinner! Do you know what you're eating?' Gasps Quartermain.  
  
'I can't read the motto well.."M's chocolate is the best, the.." ' Skinner trails off.  
  
'"..Shit".' Quartermain finishes off for him.  
  
'No I can't really SIT now thank you,' Says Skinner.  
  
'Shit! Shit!' Allen tries to explain him.  
  
'Damn, you really have learn how to pronounce proper English,' Skinner grumble.  
  
Skinner comes into the cave, is greeted by the rest of the league, and starts telling his story.  
  
'This is M' s factory. He wants to make millions and millions of evil chocolate bunny rabbits to take over the world! Oh, and also something unimportant such as making clones of you.' Sinner adds as an afterthought.  
  
'Bashtard! We musht shtop him!' Yells Quartermain.  
  
'Skinner, how did you lose your clothes?' asks casually Nemo.  
  
'Oh, I played strip poker with the giant stripper squid. He's a good player, but doesn't have any clothes. He took my greasepaint, hat, coat and even my invisible knickers when I lost! But don't worry, I ate the squid with macaroni and cheese. Seafood is delicious.' Smirked Skinner.  
  
***********  
  
( In the factory...)  
  
M has finally shaved off this stupid moustache and looks a great deal handsomer. He is sitting down, smoking a hookah and eating chocolates in his drugged state. Next to him is Dorian Gay- I mean Gray, knitting more wool jumpers for the vampire rabbits.  
  
'Now, now, M, you know this is bad for you.' Says Dorian in his knocking chair.  
  
'Be quiet, dear. You know I have your painting.' Retorts M.  
  
'No! Not the one where I was six and eating cockroaches!' Gasps Dorian.  
  
'Exactly that one, and the one where you look really ugly, and it rots every New Year.' M threatens.  
  
'Oh, THAT painting...alright. ' Says Dorian simply.  
  
********  
  
The league arrives somehow into the factory, after defeating some vampire bunnies. Mina goes and meets up with Dorian in his room. They give some crappy dialogue, they fight, but keep healing. Finally, Mina pins him to the wall.  
  
'Now you shall see what you really are!' She yells, uncovering the portrait.  
  
The portrait is Dorian at the age of six, eating cockroaches!  
  
'NOOOOO!!!' Screams Dorian, dies of horror and shame of his youth portrait, and turns into dust.  
  
'What? This painting?' Mina bewilderedly looks at it,' Oh, well, at least he's dead.'  
  
Down where Hyde and Nemo were fighting, millions of bunnies were being destroyed. But one of M's henchmen, who looks like a Nazi pirate(with the eye patch), drinks the whole formula from the barrel. Instead of becoming another Hyde, for he is already evil, he becomes something worse: Barney!  
  
'I love you, you love me..' Yells the purple mutant.  
  
Useless is Nemo's plastic sword, which bounces off the creature's thick sponge skin, and Barney is way bigger than Hyde.  
  
Hyde finally turns back to sweet Dr. Jekyll, with the pants falling over his waist. Barney starts to run towards Nemo. Nemo screams like a kid, and jumps into Jekyll's hands. Both of them start screaming and running to a small room, where icicles hang.  
  
Barney bounds after them, screaming his stupid song, causing the icicles to fall, and stab the dinosaur to death. Nemo and Jekyll are saved!  
  
Skinner is going around the factory, planting bombs, and getting his ass burnt by the fire.  
  
Quartermain meets up with M, and is almost ready to shoot him.  
  
'I know your shecret! You are Moriarty!' Roars Allen, shocking the audience.  
  
'And who are you? Sherlock Holmes?' Snorts Moriarty, taking off his helmet.  
  
Quartermain spots the reflection on the helmet where Tom is held captive by fake Skinner. Allen whips around and shoots the fake Skinner.  
  
'Wow! Thanks for saving me!' Cries Tom Sawyer.  
  
'I wash aiming for you!' Growled Allen.  
  
Moriarty jumps out of the window, but it is way too high above the ground, so he falls down and breaks his neck. Tom runs after him, and shoots the already still, dead body of the villain.  
  
'Look! I didn't miss! I shot him dead! I pierced his appendix!' Struts Tom around proudly.  
  
'Oh, Matilda! We are saved!' Quartermain kisses the gun.  
  
BANG! His beloved gun Matilda blew his head off. Tom starts crying his eyes out, beating up the gun.  
  
***********  
  
(Somewhere in the Terra Incognito, Africa in other words...)  
  
The league is packed around the grave, boogies running down their noses, and sobbing. Nemo gives some speech about the league sticking together, when no one is even listening to him. Tom sticks Matilda upright , stabbing the gun into the grave.  
  
'Ow! Watchsh it!' Exclaims a familiar voice from inside the grave.  
  
'How could you Matilda?' Cries Tom, not noticing the voice,' He loved you, but you kill him. It's like you are made of iron!'  
  
The league silently leaves, while some black man is dancing crazily around the grave, singing,' Happy deathday to you...' in a strong African accent.  
  
Suddenly, the grave starts to shake, and some storm clouds come up. The gun, stuck into the grave, is shaking.  
  
'You shtupid unfaithful tart!' Growls the familiar voice at the gun,' Get outsh of my grave!'  
  
THE END?  
  
Author's Note: Finally, this is finished. Sorry for taking so long. What do you think of the ending and the bunny vampires? I simply HAD to mention Hitler. It is a point that no one mentions that happened at those times. Oh well, please review! 


End file.
